I have no words....

My mother said I shouldn't post this but I wouldn't be keeping an accurate blog if I didn't. Last night at bath time I had Bryce in the tub with his toys. I let him play by himself for awhile and then he called me when he was ready for shampoo etc. Most everyone knows by now that I don't do bryce below the waist. Ever since he was born I took one look at him and said, "what am I supposed to know about that?!" I am so happy that he is now pottie trained and can bathe himself! Everything was moving along like clockwork until.... I hear Bryce start whimpering for me to come see him ... "ow ow" he starts saying. I head down the hallway, open up the bathroom door and to my horror I see that he has spent his free time stuffing his little man part into the top of a kiddie shower gel plastic bottle. He is standing up and it's literally hanging from his little man part stuck!! I almost threw up in my mouth! I said, "what have you done?!?!" He whimpers and says "It's stuck!" I have him sit down and swallowing the acid in my throat I try to pour a ton of soap on top of it to see if HE can pull it off. It doesn't work. This means I now have to touch it. Lola comes in the bathroom asking why I'm dry heaving.... no mommy is not going to throw up... get out, I'm dealing with your brother! This plastic bottle is vacuum sealed to his boy part! I do my best to keep soaping and little by little (ha ha) it slips out. PHEW!! In between trying not to throw up I am laughing so hard I have tears running down my face! I look at Bryce and say "don't ever stuff that thing in anything ever again!!" I asked him why he would do such a thing and his reply "I wanted to see if it would fit" of course... it's too logical! This boy is only 3! I am so NOT prepared for what else he will come up with as he gets older.